They're Probably Pretty Cool...Probably.

It's just barely October, and already I'm getting a serious urge to subject myself to lots of horror movies and lots of fun-size candy bars (truth be told, I start getting those twinges of blood/candylust around the end of August). The following is a list of movies that I've always wanted to see, but as of yet have not. I'm thinking that they might make the cut for the 6th annual Halloweenie Roast. Anyway, here goes:

Cemetery Man: From what I've read about this flick, it sounds pretty much right up my alley. It's basically about this dude who works as a cemetery caretaker. When zombies start to rise up from the graves in his cemetery, he takes responsibility for the zombie invasion and tries to kill them before they can leave, so as not to disturb the sleepy town surrounding said cemetery. Eventually he falls in love with a dark, beautiful, and recently widowed woman and their relationship takes a tragic turn when she becomes one of the cursed undead. Does he kill her? Does he decide to join her in zombie damnation? I don't know! That's why I'd like to see this movie. That and the zombies and cemeteries and brain mutilations.

The Last House On the Left: This one is important to me for a few reasons. It's Wes Craven's first movie, and I'm interested in taking a look at his first stab (get it?) at horror movies. Also, the story sounds both fascinating and terrifying. It's about a pair of girls who go to a rock concert and get killed on the way home. The movie then puts you in the perspective of one girl's parents who unintentionally welcome their daughter's killers into their home. Instead of taking a predictable turn and having the killers terrorize the quaint suburban family, Craven has the girl's parents find out the truth about their guests and cruelly mete out vengeance as the night progresses.

Wait Until Dark: Unlike many movies that I haven't seen but want to, I haven't spent much time reading about the synopsis of this flick. What I do know is that Audrey Hepburn plays a blind chick who gets mixed up with some seriously evil dudes (one of which is Alan Arkin! Him playing a psycho is 75% of why I want to see this movie) and terror ensues. The other 25% of the reason I want to see this movie is for this one scene I saw whilst watching Bravo's "Hundred Scariest Movie Moments" when Mr. Arkin leaps out of a dark room ready to attack the blind Ms. Hepburn. She can't see him! You can! Terror!

Dead End Drive-In: I know nothing about this one, save that it's a horror movie set in a drive-in theater, which is something Sheree and I have talked about a lot. The drive-in is one of the most perfect places to set a horror movie. It's dark, there's lots of opportunity for horny teenagers to fornicate before getting their throats cut, and the snack bar is open all night! Anywho, I might be overexcited to watch this one, because as you can see by the cover, it's probably a piece of fried crap.

I Am Omega: This one I know will be a total piece of fried crap. But, it's not on this list because I think it's a possibly brilliant exercise in horror, no no no, my friends. It's on this list because The Chairman from Iron Chef America is the protaganist and he battles zombies in a complete ripoff of both I Am Legend and Omega Man (see? I Am+Omega). Tell me that you're not just a teensy bit curious to see how they managed to take that concept and run with it.

The Hills Have Eyes: Just so we're clear, I don't mean Alexandre Aja's remake (which I've already seen. Meh), but Wes Craven's original. I just like the idea of a mutant clan that terrorizes travelers in the Southwest deserts of America. See that guy on the cover? He doesn't have any fingernails! In real life!

Right. That's definitely not all of them, but it's a good list so far, and I'm getting tired and hungry. 'Kay, bye.