There Is No Shermer, Illinois.

1. Did you date anyone from your high school? Yes. Her name was Andrea. She was the Antichrist.
2. What kind of car did you drive? I started with the Pony, but a dumptruck ran over it while I was sluffing. Afterwards, I drove a sweet Honda Civic. It had a sunroof!
3. What was the most embarrassing moment of high school? Probably the time I threw up in the drinking fountain outside of my ceramics class. It was only embarrassing because there ended up being some people in the hall that I didn't see before I let loose my vomitous thunder.
4. Where you a party animal? No, but I was an avid party animal rights activist.
5. Were you considered a flirt? Probably not.
6. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir? No.
7. Were you a nerd? Depends on whether or not you differentiate between "geek" and "nerd."
8. Were you on any varsity teams? Nope. We just heckled the opposing team at varsity football games.
9. Did you get suspended/expelled? No, but I did own a pair of suspenders.
10. Can you still sing the fight song? They didn't allow fights at my school.
11. Who were your favorite teachers? The ones that didn't suck.
12. Where did you sit during lunch? In the commons. They erected a wolf-like monument on the place where we sat, so as to commemorate our outstanding progress in the field of slacking.
13. What was your school's full name? Riverton International House of Pancakes.
14. School mascot? A stupid silverwolf.
15. Did you go to homecoming? With who? Yes. With the aforementioned Antichrist.
16. If you could go back and do it again, would you? No, but I would like to go back and shoot myself with a paintball gun.
17. What do you remember most about graduation? Going to Denny's around four in the morning and ordering nothing but a grapefruit juice and a vanilla Coke. It was gross.
18. Where did you go on senior skip day? I don't know what that is.
19. Were you in any clubs? No. Nor did I go clubbing.
20. Have you gained some weight since then? I imagine so.
21. Who was your prom date? The aforementioned, aforementioned Antichrist.
22. Are you planning on going to your 10 year reunion? I guess so. My 5 year reunion involved a chocolate fountain, which was lovely.
23. Looking back, what advice would you give yourself? Don't be such a moron. Now I'm going to shoot you with a paintball gun.

Comic-Con Freakout Blast-O-Rama!!!! (Pt. 3)

And now, the eagerly awaited final chapter....

So, remember in my last post when I said shit got real on Saturday and Sunday? Well, it did. Our top priority was to hit the Battlestar Galactica (or BSG, to hardcore mutha-frakkers). But a dilemma presented itself: The BSG panel was in ballroom 20, but right before it started, there was a Lost panel in hall H, which we also wanted to see (mainly because Lost is awesome). After some deliberation, we decided to split up. Sheree was going to hold our seats in ballroom 20 (and brave the dreaded spotlight on Dean Koontz that was also scheduled to take place in ballroom 20) while I waited in line to see if the Lost creators decided to reveal any news as to the next season and whatnot. I waited in line for a really long time, and managed to get in to see the ass end of the Lost panel, in which fanboys asked questions that the creators obviously weren't going to answer (i.e. "so uhhh, like, what's the deal with the black smoke thingy?"). At this point, I realized that anything cool that the Lost panel had to offer was had already been doled out, so I made a mad dash back to ballroom 20, hoping against hope that I'd be able to get back to the seats that Sheree was holding (you see, right before the BSG panel was a panel dedicated to Joss Whedon's new TV show Dollhouse. One of the many lessons that I learned at the Con was that everyone there thinks that Joss Whedon is God, hence his panels tend to get overcrowded). I barely squeezed myself in just as the Dollhouse panel started, and was able to reunite with Sheree when it ended. Oh, and it's also important to mention that on my return trip back to ballroom 20, I happened to run into John Cassaday (remember him? He draws Astonishing X-Men and was on the cool EW panel that I mentioned in my first Comic-Con post. I told him that I freaking loved Astonishing X-Men, and he was pretty genuinely cool. Good times).
Right. The BSG panel was boss. Kevin Smith was the moderator, and he introduced the creators (Ronald Moore and David Eick) as well as the principal cast (Tricia Helfer, James Callis, Katee Sackhoff, Michael Trucco, along with unannounced appearances by Jamie Bamber and Tahmoh Penikett). Of all the panels we sat in on, this one (and the Watchmen one) felt like the biggest deal. The final half of the final season will be on next year, and the cast had just finished filming the final episode, so it was kind of awesomely bittersweet to see them talk about their favorite moments on the show (fun fact: most of the cast felt that the scene where Galactica jumps right into the atmosphere of New Caprica and starts launching Vipers was the best moment of the show). Anywho, when they finished up, the whole mass of ballroom 20 stood up to offer them an ovation, to which they replied by standing up and offering the mass their applause. It was a great moment in time.

Afterwards, we decided to go down to see the exhibition floor. Unbeknownst to us, however, was the fact that Saturday is when tons of celebrities hang out at their respective employer's booths and sign autographs. This is when things got crazy awesome, and the exact tale goes something like this:

Sheree and I were navigating our way through the relentless throng of ninjas, pirates, C.O.B.R.A. terrorists, Autobots, and Decepticons when I noticed someone through the crowd. I had to look twice in order to be sure, but as we got closer to the WB booth, there was Nathan Fillion. Since I've been back, I've noticed that a lot of people don't really know who Nathan Fillion is, which is too bad. Oh, and the important part of this story is that Sheree has a huge crush on him. He was one of the three celebrities that Sheree was hoping to meet for riz (the other two being James Franco and James Callis). So we hopped in line to get his autograph (oh, I should mention that he was part of a group that was promoting a new animated Wonder Woman dvd, so we got all of the animators and stuff to sign this Wonder Woman poster). When we got to Mr. Fillion, I readied my camera to take his picture with Sheree, saying "Sheree has a huge crush on you!" to which he replied "Careful! I'll steal her away from you!" which caused Sheree so much joy that she almost threw up. It was dope.
Shortly after this occurrence, we wandered past the Troma booth where Lloyd Kaufman, president of Troma Entertainment, was talking to some schmuck about making movies. I noticed him and thought it would be cool to get him to sign my Comic-Con badge. So Sheree and I walked over and tried to get a word in, but before I could say anything, Mr. Kaufman walked out of the booth and kissed Sheree on the cheek saying, "All you need for a successful movie is a beautiful woman like this!" and then he wandered back to his booth. Freaking guy didn't even wanna talk to me :(

The last panel of the night was one dedicated to Pineapple Express, which we were really excited about. This one had Judd Apatow with Seth Rogen, James Franco, Danny McBride, Amber Heard, Evan Goldberg, and David Gordon Green. As with anything involving Judd Apatow, this whole panel was crazy funny. Plus, they showed like, five clips from the movie (which looks like it's going to be mindfudgingly good). This was also one of my favorite audience q & a sessions, because Judd Apatow and Seth Rogen would rip into certain people at just the right moments. It was great!

As for Sunday, we spent the entire day in the exhibition hall. Sure, we were looking for cool stuff to buy, but mainly, we wanted to make sure the experience would be fresh in our minds for a long time. When our legs started to hurt, we decided to check out the autograph booths upstairs because the ladies of Evil Dead (Ellen Sandweiss, Betsy Baker, and Theresa Tilley) were there signing autographs, and I thought it would be a cool addition to my Bruce Campbell autographed Army of Darkness poster. Before we get to them, I just want to say that the tables without any lines made me really sad. For example, there was some guy who was in Star Wars: Episode I, but I had no idea who he was. I felt bad because he was sitting there at his table with his little drink, but nobody gave a damn. But, I suppose if you are barely in a movie, you shouldn't expect people to want your autograph. Oh, and even worse were the tables that had Playboy centerfolds from ten years ago. That was just heart-breaking. But I digress. We went and talked to the Evil Dead ladies who were all very nice, so I bought a little picture for them to sign. During the autograph process, one of them asked where we were from and such, and I told them that we were from Utah on our honeymoon. At this, all three of them stopped and looked up. "You decided to come here on your honeymoon?" they asked in unison. At this, we both beamed and were like, "That's right! That's how kickass we are!" and they loved it.

And that's how we wrapped up our experiences at the Con. It was definitely a life-altering experience, and I've been on a geek buzz ever since we've been back. Many times during our trip I realized that a dream had come true, and that dream was this: Visiting the largest and most prestigious comic book convention in the world with my new bride, who is just as geeky as I am.