If you had to choose:
1. Fred Astaire or Gene Kelly? Gene Kelly. Wasn't he in Singin' in the Rain? That movie was cool.
2. The Great Gatsby or The Sun Also Rises? The Sun Also Rises.
3. Count Basie or Duke Ellington? Count Basie, for he is friends with Count Blogula.
4. Cats or dogs? Dogs. I'd like a beagle someday. I'd name him Ajax.
5. Matisse or Picasso? I'm gonna go with Picasso.
6. Yeats or Eliot? Eliot. It's not his fault Cats was so...disturbing.
7. Buster Keaton or Charlie Chaplin? Buster Keaton. Wait...yeah.
8. The Who or the Stones? The Stones. Hey, I just realized that I've seen both of these bands live! I'm cool!
9. Trollope or Dickens? Dickens, cuz I don't know who Trollope is. Sounds like a tasty, cream-filled dessert.
10. Billie Holiday or Ella Fitzgerald? Billie Holiday.
11. Dostoyevsky or Tolstoy? Dostoyevsky. Screw War and Peace.
12. Hot dogs or hamburgers? Burgers. Especially those of the In&Out/Acme Burger variety.
13. Letterman or Leno? Letterman. I impersonated him for my fifth grade talent show.
14. Wilco or Cat Power? Cat Power. I just haven't been able to get into Wilco.
15. Grace Kelly or Marilyn Monroe? Marilyn Monroe.
16. Bill Monroe or Johnny Cash? Johnny Cash. Who is Bill Monroe, and why is he being compared to Johnny Cash? Why not Waylon Jennings or something.
17. Robert Mitchum or Marlon Brando? Marlon Brando, although I do not respect the way he let himself get all inflated.
18. Vermeer or Rembrandt? Rembrandt.
19. Grosse Pointe Blank or High Fidelity? Grosse Point Blank. High Fidelity was almost the perfect movie, but it made a few tragically critical mistakes. I'll write a post about this one.
20. Comedy or tragedy? If we're talking about Shakespeare, I prefer his tragedies. I guess overall I like tragedies. I'm morbid.
21. Fall or spring? Fall. That's when my birthday is, plus Halloween and Thanksgiving are great too. Today's Thanksgiving! Happy Thanksgiving!
22. The Sopranos or The Simpsons? The Simpsons. Best...show...ever.
23. Rodgers and Hart or Gershwin and Gershwin? Gershwin and Gershwin.
24. Joseph Conrad or Henry James? Conrad. Heart of Darkness is one of the best books ever written, and it's in the guy's like, third language.
25. Sunset or sunrise? Sunset. That's when the magic happens.
26. Johnny Mercer or Cole Porter? Johnny Mercer. Read 'Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil.' You'll understand.
27. Mac or PC? Mac, cuz I'm writing this on a mac, and macs are cool.
28. New York or Los Angeles? I guess New York. The dudes on Entourage say that the pizza is much better in New York.
29. Stax or Motown? Stax. Thank you, history of rock n' roll class.
30. Van Gogh or Gauguin? Van Gogh. Cutting off your own ear shows commitment.
31. Steely Dan or Elvis Costello? Elvis Costello.
32. Reading a blog or reading a magazine? Magazine. I like to hold onto what I'm reading.
33. Chinatown or Bonnie and Clyde? Bonnie and Clyde. It's a cool story.
34. Ghost World or Election? Ghost World. Election was kinda lame, plus Ghost World had that awesome mullet guy.
35. Daffy Duck or Bugs Bunny? Daffy. Bugs is freakin' sellout.
36. Modernism or postmodernism? Postmodernism. The end is near.
37. Batman or Spider-Man? Batman all the way. I would love to see Batman kick Spider-Man in the chest.
38. Jane Austen or Virginia Woolf? I'll say Jane Austen. Virginia Woolf looks like an ugly Nicole Kidman.
39. The Honeymooners or The Dick Van Dyke Show? Honeymooners.
40. Out of the Past or Double Indemnity? Double Indemnity. I like seeing Fred MacMurray do evil.
41. Blue or green? Blue's pretty cool.
42. A Midsummer Night’s Dream or As You Like It? I knew we were talking about Shakespeare! I choose A Midsummer Night's Dream.
43. Ballet or opera? Ooh. Ballet?
44. Film or live theater? Moviefilms.
45. Acoustic or electric? Electric. Always electric.
46. The Music Man or Oklahoma? Oklahoma, since it served as the inspiration for 'Cannibal: The Musical.'
47. Sushi, yes or no? Yes, but only under certain circumstances. Like, I don't like it when people put 'going to get sushi' on par with 'going to the movies,' or when yuppies meet at sushi bars to discuss yuppie things.
48. Tennessee Williams or Edward Albee? Tennessee Williams. Streetcar is dope.
49. Frank Lloyd Wright or Mies van der Rohe? Mies. Yup.
50. Diana Krall or Norah Jones? Norah Jones.
51. Watercolor or pastel? Pastel. Watercolor is so kindergarten.
52. Crunchy or smooth peanut butter? Smooth. What if those crunchies are bugs?
53. Willa Cather or Theodore Dreiser? Willa Cather.
54. The Fifties or the Twenties? Twenties.
55. Huckleberry Finn or Moby-Dick? Huck Finn.
56. Thomas Mann or James Joyce? Joyce. I think I'm gonna read Ulysses someday.
57. Emily Dickinson or Walt Whitman? Whitman.
58. Abraham Lincoln or Winston Churchill? Lincoln. I ain't no Brit!
59. Italian or French cooking? Italian.
60. Anchovies, yes or no? Never had them. Overall, I'd say no, but I'm not opposed to trying them once before I die.
61. Short novels or long ones? Long ones.
62. Swing or bebop? Bebop, especially when he fights ninja turtles with Rocksteady.
Nice! I totally finished this quiz. I'd also like to point out that I've been watching A Scanner Darkly (that I purchased with L.A. Confidential in an excellent two for ten dollars deal at Peterson's) and it's a total mindfudge.
5 comments:
Nice! Way to take the quiz. Gold star for Springtime. Rocksteady and Bebop are awesome. Virtual high five.
1. Fred Astaire or Gene Kelly? Both gay and/or dead.
2. The Great Gatsby or The Sun Also Rises? Great Gatsby sucks.
3. Count Basie or Duke Ellington? Duke.
4. Cats or dogs? Tie, which is in itself a victory for cats.
5. Matisse or Picasso? Picasso.
6. Yeats or Eliot? Pass.
7. Buster Keaton or Charlie Chaplin? Buster Keaton. Unless he's not really Michael Keaton's grandpa, then Robert Downey Jr.
8. The Who or the Stones? The Stones.
9. Trollope or Dickens? Dickens.
10. Billie Holiday or Ella Fitzgerald? Who cares, because I'm neither A) an old lady or B) someone who listens to old lady music.
11. Dostoyevsky or Tolstoy? Dostoyevsky.
12. Hot dogs or hamburgers? N/A, but I'd take a garden burger over a veggie dog.
13. Letterman or Leno? Letterman.
14. Wilco or Cat Power? Wilco all the way. Cat Power's only got, like four good songs. Wilco rules everything.
15. Grace Kelly or Marilyn Monroe? Marilyn Monroe, because she was in Playboy.
16. Bill Monroe or Johnny Cash? Johnny Cash (to answer your question, Alex, Bill Monroe is on this list because the douchenozzle that came up with it freely associated his name with Marilyn Monroe's, which then invited the only conceivable comparison, Johnny Cash).
17. Robert Mitchum or Marlon Brando? Marlon Brando. Although I enjoyed Robert Mitchum in BASEketball--wait, that was Robert Stack. Nevermind. Brando.
18. Vermeer or Rembrandt? Rembrandt.
19. Grosse Pointe Blank or High Fidelity? Blecch. Neither. Both of these movies were where John Cusack got too cool for the world. I'll choose a tie between Better Off Dead and One Crazy Summer.
20. Comedy or tragedy? Comedy, because my piece of shit existence is tragic enough. And it's your fault, A.J.
21. Fall or spring? Fall. Spring is lame.
22. The Sopranos or The Simpsons? The Simpsons. Groundskeeper Willie rocks a lynx's ass.
23. Rodgers and Hart or Gershwin and Gershwin? Having never had sex with a dude, I cannot answer this question.
24. Joseph Conrad or Henry James? Conrad.
25. Sunset or sunrise? Sunrise. Sunsets make me sleepy.
26. Johnny Mercer or Cole Porter? Seriously? Anyone still really listens to this old timer shit? Dudes don't even got synthesizers.
27. Mac or PC? Mac. I miss mine so much.
28. New York or Los Angeles? Never been to New York, so I'd say L.A. Plus the last time I was there I saw, like, three Lamborghinis.
29. Stax or Motown? Neither. But Stax sounds like Wax Trax, so I'll pick it.
30. Van Gogh or Gauguin? Van Gogh, cause homey drank absinthe.
31. Steely Dan or Elvis Costello? Great. Artists that are still alive, and I have to pick from these two? Gay. But Elvis Costello, because "Veronica" gets in my head a lot. But he also loses because he loves Burt Bacharach, which is gay.
32. Reading a blog or reading a magazine? Magazine. But blogs are cool, too, in a weird way.
33. Chinatown or Bonnie and Clyde? Chinatown. Someday I'm gonna slit someone's nostril open.
34. Ghost World or Election? Election. Because Matthew Broderick was doing it with that super ugly lady, and that foreshadowed his marriage to Sarah Jessica Parker.
35. Daffy Duck or Bugs Bunny? Daffy. Because he's fucked up.
36. Modernism or postmodernism? I would say postmodernism, but then I'd be playing your game, thereby consenting to, and participating in, the reality that there is but one choice. So instead, I will answer Quaker Instant Oatmeal with frozen blueberries.
37. Batman or Spider-Man? No brainer. Batman.
38. Jane Austen or Virginia Woolf? Ugh.
39. The Honeymooners or The Dick Van Dyke Show? I love how an eighty year old wrote this list.
40. Out of the Past or Double Indemnity? Tron, starring Jeff Bridges.
41. Blue or green? Green.
42. A Midsummer Night’s Dream or As You Like It? A Midsummer Night's Dream.
43. Ballet or opera? Ballet wants to make me stab myself in the face less, so ballet.
44. Film or live theater? Movies. Unless you're talking about snuff films. Then films. Just kidding. I couldn't even sit through Faces of Death III.
45. Acoustic or electric? Electric.
46. The Music Man or Oklahoma? Revise my answer to number 39. I love how an eighty year old pole smoker wrote this list.
47. Sushi, yes or no? Yes. It popped my ten year vegan cherry.
48. Tennessee Williams or Edward Albee? Tennessee Williams, because my gramma's name was Stella.
49. Frank Lloyd Wright or Mies van der Rohe? The other guy, because FLW is trendy.
50. Diana Krall or Norah Jones? Both make me want to sleep and/or kill.
51. Watercolor or pastel? Watercolor. It moves. Plus, way back when I was an art major, I had a pastels class and the teacher hated my work, and hated how I outlined everything. Probably a big part of why I never made it big in the art world.
52. Crunchy or smooth peanut butter? Crunchy. It's all about texture. And fiber, for the eighty year old brownie hound who wrote this list.
53. Willa Cather or Theodore Dreiser? Pffft.
54. The Fifties or the Twenties? Twenties. Flapper girls are way hotter than greaser girls.
55. Huckleberry Finn or Moby-Dick? Moby Dick.
56. Thomas Mann or James Joyce? Joyce, because he was a drunk, and micks kick krauts' asses. Plus Mann is only cool because of Nietzsche, who shares my birthday.
57. Emily Dickinson or Walt Whitman? Whitman. There? Happy, fags?
58. Abraham Lincoln or Winston Churchill? Lincoln.
59. Italian or French cooking? Italian. Dude, I went to France. Their food tastes like bland ass.
60. Anchovies, yes or no? No, although I recently read they're very high in essential fatty acids. But I had a friend who ate them in high school, and he smelled like fish for days.
61. Short novels or long ones? Who cares, as long as they're full of pictures. You're talking about graphic novels, right?
62. Swing or bebop? Swing, but only because playing it would invite hordes of mongoloids from Provo who like to swing dance, and then I could gather them into a large warehouse where I would put them all to sleep with noxious fumes, and then before they woke up, I would douse their bodies in gasoline and then set them on fire, and after the whole place burned to the ground, I would gather the ashes and mix them with pig waste at a farm in Bluffdale, and watch the hogs wallow in it.
Moby Dick makes me want to set myself on fire. Who the hell picks Moby Dick over anything, including an ice pick to the ear? You raging fool. And why not include The Sure Thing, if you're comparing early John Cusack crapfests. And I mean that lovingly.
I was originally going to comment about two things, but after reading Ryan's comment I have decided to comment thrice.
Why did Ryan “comment” his preferences on your blog? That makes no sense to me. He is lame and gay anyway. If he wants to post his retarded points of view, he should start his own blog.
It would be titled as follows:
RYAN SPRINGER: KING OF DOUCHE BAGGERY!!
I remember when you played Letterman I was a guest on your show. Ever since, Letterman has been my personal fav as well.
On the question asking "Wilco or Cat Power?," I think it should be edited to read "Wilco or Cat Power or Cat Stevens?"
I gotta say the victory of the "hipster quiz" goes to Ryan.
Thats some funny shiz!!
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